Elon Musk’s Reno 911! : Lt. Jim Dangle (Thomas Lennon) Answers our Questions on the Reno-Based...

Lieutenant Jim Dangle led Reno Sheriff’s Department on the Comedy Central mockumentary Reno 911!. So when we heard the news that Tesla’s Elon Musk—technophile, playboy, space junkie, automotive executive—had unveiled plans to build his battery-manufacturing Gigafactory smack dab in Dangle’s Washoe County, we contacted the top cop to get his thoughts. (As it turns out, Thomas Lennon, the co-creator of Reno 911! and the actor who squeezed into the shortest shorts in the history of law enforcement for 88 episodes and one feature film, also happens to own a Tesla. So, kismet.)

C/D: The “electric-car” company Tesla is plotting to build something called a Gigafactory in your territory: Reno. What is your department’s planned response to this potential invasion?

Lt. Jim Dangle (Thomas Lennon): If I recall correctly, Nikola Tesla is to Thomas Edison like Vince Clarke was to Depeche Mode. They stole all his secrets, and went on to huge success and multiplatinum albums. So, congrats on that. I might not have all the details on this exactly right. I’m happy for the investment in Reno, jewel of the Sierras. I should point out that we already have a very fun piano bar called “The Gigglefactory”—so I hope there’s no confusion.

Tesla is led by a billionaire entrepreneur/men’s cologne named Elon Musk. Friend or foe?

Any man who’s working on a tube that can get me to San Francisco in forty-five minutes is an angel.

There are claims that this Gigafactory will be solar-powered. Is it a crime to steal energy from the sun? Doesn’t this energy rightfully belong to the people of Reno?

It’s hard to say. Possession is nine-tenths of the law. And a lot of what Reno possesses was stolen from the cars of dirty California hipsters who came up here for Burning Man. Sorry, I actually forgot the question . . . as long as it’s not moon power. We had a sort of a moon cult out here a while ago that was doing some stuff on the full moons that was pretty unsavory.

Tesla, the aforementioned “electric-car” company, claims that this factory will bring thousands of new jobs to Reno. Factory workers tend to be a rowdy bunch. Might the factory attract an unsavory element?

If you’ve ever seen the Billy Joel video for “Allentown,” you know that we’ve got exactly the kind of strapping lads you need to run a hot, sweaty factory with sparks bouncing around all over the place. (We also have a place called Sparks.) I’m not sure how accurate to factory life that Billy Joel video was. But remember the end of it, when a guy in his underwear twirls a flaming baton? Well . . . if this Tesla factory needs one of those guys—I’m your man, Elon Musk.

Is “electricity” safe?

At the time of this writing, there’s simply no way to test that.

We’ve seen the way that Tesla’s vehicles have taken over the more influential portions of cities like Los Angeles and San Jose. If this Gigafactory succeeds in colonizing Reno as well, what’s to stand between us and a robot takeover of the world?

The scariest question to ask is not when will robots take over the world, but rather when did robots take over the world? I should point out that I just did a whippit, so I’m a little dizzy as I’m typing this. Think about it.

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Is there any truth to the rumors that Reno 911! will be returning to television via Netflix?

I can neither confirm nor deny these allegations. But the shorts are always on, under my other shorts. When we see the signal in the sky, we’ll be there.



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